


laughing and hydrating and listening to frank ocean

by grapehyasynth



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:14:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grapehyasynth/pseuds/grapehyasynth
Summary: Ken Redux: David and Patrick are business partners and just friends, Patrick is newly out, David sets Patrick up on his first date with a guy and regrets it
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Patrick Brewer/Ken
Comments: 48
Kudos: 250





	laughing and hydrating and listening to frank ocean

**Author's Note:**

> this is over 1k (barely) so we're makin' it its own lil puppy instead of putting it in the drabble collection. written very quickly, not edited, we die like fools

“This is not how I wanted to spend my night,” Alexis grumps, as if he didn’t _know_. 

“Me neither.” He paces the motel room two more times before he checks his phone. “He hasn’t texted. Why hasn’t he texted? Ken must’ve used the bathroom at some point, or, like, turned away to give the valet his key. Patrick’s probably had a dozen opportunities to text me. Why hasn’t he texted me?” 

He wouldn’t be having this breakdown in front of Alexis if he could help it; she’s got that expression that’s both pitying and amused at the same time, and he’d find it endearing that his sister is here, supporting him on this most trying of nights, if he didn’t also resent the condescension. 

“David, he’s on a date. He’s not going to text someone else. Patrick has manners, unlike you.” 

“Yes, he’s on his _first date with a guy_ , which _I set up_!” David snaps. “And I’m his-” He’d been about to say best friend, but that’s...can you say that, without consulting with the other person first? “We...talk about these kinds of things. I texted _him_ during my last date. I just thought-” 

“Well, that’s because you’re tragically, unrequitedly in love with him,” Alexis says, like it’s easy, sitting back with her phone, already scrolling again. The fact that she can multitask while driving a shiv into his back? Offensive. “He’s probably fully focused on cute little Ken. By now, they’re probably already back at his apartment, listening to Frank Ocean, laughing, hydrating-” 

“Yeah, the more I think about this, the more I think it was too early after his sexual awakening to get him out there?” David feels like his throat is closing up. “We should’ve tested the waters more, helped him flirt with some randoms at the Wobbly Elm, put him on some dating apps for a few weeks - what if he and Ken get married and Patrick only ever gets to be with one guy, and it’s my fault?” 

Alexis squints. “Your fault...if he finds a really nice guy he wants to be with forever?” 

“I mean, I thought I was being a good friend, but it was just a classic case of butting in where I’m not needed!” David checks his phone again. “Fuck! Maybe I should drive there and interrupt them. Like, there’s an emergency at the store. I could do that. It would be merciful to both of them. Fuck, I can’t do that.” 

“Hey!” Alexis taps the table with one manicured finger. “David. Chill.” 

He just glares at her. 

“David, yes, those are all valid points, but this is a moment of growth for you. Was it flawlessly executed? No. Would I have done it? _Hell_ no.” 

“Okay, if this is meant to be helpful-” 

“David, you’re doing yourself a kindness,” Alexis says firmly, and it draws him up short. “If you dragged this out and kept getting closer and closer to him while also helping him date other people - like, you might have to watch someone else marry him someday. And he might ask you to be his best man or something. So. Better to rip off the bandaid and try to move on now rather than crying at the altar at someone else’s wedding.” 

“They could be tears of joy,” David mutters, but she has a point. The thought of Patrick marrying someone else makes him want to vomit. Hell, the thought of Patrick on a date with someone else has kept him up all night for the last three nights. He’s more coffee than human at this point. So maybe - maybe Patrick getting into a relationship with someone else will hurt. Like, a whole fucking lot. But maybe then David will be forced to stop fantasizing about their friendship ever blooming into something more, like he’s been doing every day for the last year and a half. 

Before he can find a way to say this that won’t provoke that pity-face again, there’s a knock on the motel door. 

It’s Patrick, in a very dashing suit jacket and a button-up that’s a slightly different blue than he’d worn at work. David’s never seen him in a suit jacket before; his shoulders look so touchable. 

“Hi,” David says softly. 

“Hi.” Patrick leans around David to give a quick wave to Alexis. “Could we - maybe talk outside?” 

“Everything okay?” David asks as he shuts the door behind him, crossing his arms against the slight chill of the spring night. 

“Yes. Well - I couldn’t do it,” Patrick admits, the words rushed like he’s been desperate to say them. 

“Okay,” David says carefully. “Are you - are you having doubts, or-” 

“Yes. No. I mean, not - I don’t want to date Ken.” 

David’s already nodding, any thought of ripping the bandage off entirely gone. “That’s okay, it was a first effort, and it’s honestly just so great that you were willing to put yourself out there. Was there - um, was there anything specific? That didn’t work? Just so that I know, like, going forward, what we should avoid, when we’re looking for you-” 

“Okay, this is gonna sound totally petty,” Patrick huffs, and David loves him, he’s so worked up, “but something about his shoes made me feel really weird, because they were like long and pointy, but-” 

“Squared off at the toe?”

“Yes!” Patrick cries, with obvious relief that David understands. 

“Yeah,” David nods, and he reaches out, compelled beyond his own better wisdom, and touches Patrick’s arm in comfort. “So. No squared-off shoes. Got it.” 

Patrick grins at him for a minute, then glances down at David’s hand on his arm, then looks back up, his shoulders slumping. “That’s not - that’s not fair to Ken. That’s not why I don’t want to date him. I mean, it’s true, I don’t understand those shoes on a fundamental level, but-” 

“Okay, you’re sounding a lot like me right now, and I’m not sure how to feel about it,” David chuckles. 

“I don’t want to date Ken because he’s not you,” Patrick says, and not for the first time that night, David feels like the floor’s dropped out from under him. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“All night - getting ready for the date, in the car on the way to the restaurant, when he ordered wine - I just kept thinking that I wished it were _you_. So I left before the appetizers came. Because I - I had to try. I had to know-” 

David flings both arms around Patrick’s delectably touchable shoulders and kisses him. 


End file.
